3.07.2012

Body by Bakery

I've got a lot of friends who are currently working out. They're going to 'boot camps,' which, I'm not going to lie, sounds like utter torture. I've never been one to workout. I hate it. Running in place? No thanks. Running around a block? I don't care for that either. Just go ahead and mark me down for no running, m'kay?
I can't really stand weights either. And while I could probably benefit from some aerobic workout type stuff, I can't get over how ridiculous I probably look huffing and puffing as I dance around in place, looking nothing like the graceful, chiseled chick on the screen.
But I've managed to come up with a workout plan that works for me. I call it Body by Bakery. It's a crucial mix of exercise and diet regimen. The diet part comes in where you have absolutely no time to eat while you're here. You can have coffee for breakfast (make sure to reheat it 20 times in the microwave. Cold coffee is no bueno). And you can have anything for dinner once you get home- but you have to cook it yourself.
The workout part is a mix of cardio and weight training. There is no distance running, but occasionally you do have to sprint back to the oven to take out a batch of cupcakes.
Once a week, you will pick up six to seven 25 pound bags (sugar and flour) and put them on a buggy, push them around SAM's for a while then put them in your car. Take them out of your car and carry them inside. Throughout the week, move them around the bakery as needed. After only 8 weeks, your arms will look like this:


(yes, I took this picture in the bakery, by myself. I couldn't really ask a person to take a picture of me pumping my tiny fist. Ignore my bra strap and the ridiculous look on my face.) And while the bottom of my arm looks a bit flabby, I assure you that is solid muscle from rolling out fondant.

And jeans that were once tight, will look like this:


(which now frequently results in 'drooping pants syndrome' and sometimes, the dreaded 'showing off my underwear disorder'.)

I have lost about an inch off my waist and another off my hips.

If you find the workout to be mundane, try throwing in some additional arm and leg work, like walking around the bakery pushing a broom. My trainer [Brad] suggests I do this once or twice a day. Not going to lie, I don't do it frequently enough for his liking.

So there you have it, Body by Bakery. If you would like to sign up, I'm doing an introductory class for only $99. There is no equipment rental fees and it even comes with your own workout uniform. Space is limited, so sign up now! :)