Lessons from Riverfest

If you're not from around here, you might not know what Riverfest is. Every Memorial Day weekend, throngs of party-goers come out of the woodworks from all across Arkansas (and possibly further) to partake in three days of food, fun and music, stretched across the banks of the Arkansas River. This year marked the thirty-fifth year of Riverfest. It was also the first time I had gone in ten years, with that last time being only the second time I had gone in my life.
What can I say, as a kid we could not afford the luxury that is Riverfest. Tickets are $30 at the gate but half price in advance (way in advance). So what got me to part with my cold hard cash to sit on the grass to listen to music?
Wait, I feel like I should back up.
If you're not from around here, you might think this whole thing sounds charming. Carnival food? Crafts? Local vendors? Music? Sometimes even 'big name' acts? (OK, fine they're usually 'big name' about seven to ten years ago.)
But, if you're a local, you know that every single back-water redneck from Armpit, Arkansas crawls out of the muck to whoop it up in the big city of Little Rock. So, yeah, there's some primo people watching to be had. Also, sometimes these people are, well, I'll just say it, scary.
This year, when I heard the line up included my all-time favorite band, Third Eye Blind, I knew we would go. Plain and simple. I bought the advanced tickets at Walgreens! and we were ready. The show was awesome but the whole time I kept thinking that if I could just log onto Twitter, someone I knew could get me backstage. Alas, the phone was the trifect of uselessness- low battery, slow and full of photos. (sidebar, did you know that if you push the limits of your storage the iPhone will tell you you can't take any more photos? It's mean like that.)
So, with all of that in mind, here's what I learned at Riverfest 2012:
-There are people in Arkansas who think they are Juggalos. Even at 40 (estimated age, hard to tell with all that makeup). Also, I think they must practice that 'head sway thing,' I'm sure I would get dizzy.
-There are a lot of people with shin tattoos. Now it's possible that I just noticed them more since I was sitting on the ground on my oversized beach blanket (with our North Face back pack which held lip gloss- mine, allergy eye drops- Brads, and a Nikon camera). (Do you get the feeling we didn't belong at the Chavelle concert?)
-Despite the fact that I know the dental business to be quite lucrative, there are many, many people who find oral health to be an unnecessary burden. I guess at $2-3 a pop, toothbrushes are just a luxury some can't afford.
-Pregnant women like their concerts too. Maybe it just seemed like there were more of them than I see in a typical day, but every other chick I saw seemed to be in the process of gestating. Several of them had beers. Yay mom. Although, on second thought, those could have been giant beer bellies. I suppose I shall hold my judgment.
-Apparently the sexiest place to hook up is in the middle of a 3EB concert. Standing. Two feet in front of me. At one point I was almost part of a triple kiss, completely against my will.
-Maybe I don't belong in the crowd of a concert, I thought surely a band as tame as 3EB would have equally tame fans. I was wrong. I love their music, I love to jam to it, but oddly I have never been compelled to jump up and down and scream and wave my hair around trying to impale people with it. (yes, yes, physics and all, I know that's impossible). Also, I'm aware my hair is 3 inches at its longest. Regardless, this did not stop a chick from doing this about six inches to my left for the entire hour and a half that they were on stage.
Overall, it was an interesting evening but I feel that if I had wandered over to the Lynyrd Skynyrd stage that night or come back Sunday for Snoop Dog, I would have far more interesting stories to share with you. Honestly, I'm glad I kept it tame, I don't think I could have handled anything more in my old age.
Did any of you make it out to Riverfest? What's the craziest thing you saw?

Semi-Wordless Wednesday (getting back at it)

I miss writing so very much. So I'm going to try to force myself back into the habit. Odd to think that you have to force yourself to do something that you love, but with my current lack of available time, there is much forcing.

Also odd is saying that I'm 'going to write more' and starting with a 'Wordless Wednesday' post.

So, yeah, pictures of recent caking.

Enjoy.

May 18th can suck it.

I don't know what it is about the passing of time that makes us stop and reflect. Nothing special has happened, per se, yet I can't help but feel the need to write about it.
Almost a year ago, I was another person completely. A person upset with the direction her life was going. A person who cried almost daily because of the stress related to her job. And then, suddenly, I was a person without a job.
I had been talking to a co-worker about how to approach my boss, how to come to an understanding, how to make things work, when my desk phone rang. I was called to a conference room where I was told my services there were no longer needed. While the reasons I was let go were 'business,' they felt like thousands of personal needles stabbing my soul. For the first time in my life, I managed not to cry when it was the only thing I wanted to do.
I was escorted to the elevator and asked to leave, my purse was brought to me. From that moment, time slowed down, I texted a friend, a now former co-worker. As I rounded the building, I could see her through the large downstairs, her stricken face looked up from her phone, just long enough to catch my eye as I passed.
I called Brad and said the words I had never spoken before, "I just got fired."
I can't believe it's been a year.
As with so many things, time plays tricks on us. It's felt longer. Probably because of all that I've managed to accomplish. And at the same time, it's gone by in a blink.
I knew the day was coming, I could feel it in my bones. And while I know technically, it means nothing, I feel like it means everything.
Friday was that day. I knew it had the potential to suck, I think the universe knows that day has its eye on me. So I tried hard to make it a good day.
The universe was having none of that.
I had stayed up late decorating cookies, when I got to the bakery (at 6!) I threw them into bags, waiting to tie up the ribbon later. Around 9, I found that the icing on the cookies chose not to set and were oozing in the bags.
I started over. Nothing like re-baking and redecorating 40 cookies to start your day off on the right foot.
Eventually, the day got better. Where a wedding cake I was delivering fell over in the back of my car.
I love it when that happens. Thankfully, no serious damage was done [outside of some squished icing] and I was able to put it back together.
Part of me wants to vow that next year on May 18, I will just stay in bed. There will be no wedding cakes, no cookies, no customers, no anything. But I'm not one to let the day win. Instead, I will tell May 18 where to go and how to get there. I will bravely let it beat me up and will continue living my life.
Because, really, that's all we can do.

Noise

Lately, life has been filled with noise. A static that hums in the background ignorable most of the time, obnoxious in others.
Two weeks ago, we bought a cooler for the bakery. I love it because we can now carry drinks and I can keep chilled desserts out front. It also gives me a large space to store wedding cakes assembled when I need. Unfortunately, I've noticed that it emits a hum. When I'm alone in the bakery, I jerk my head up, convinced that someone is out front wanting my attention. But no, it is the cooler. I go back to what I'm doing.
Right now, my life is like that cooler. I have static in my head. Words, phrases, songs, thoughts run in and out of my brain. I worry. I worry about life. The bakery. Family. Friends.
Noise.
Sometimes I can ignore it all. And sometimes it all sits in the pit of my stomach like a dinner of stone soup.
Writing has long been a therapy for me. From my sad little pink paged Lisa Frank diary I got when I was seven to this blog now. Unfortunately, I'm rusty. The words don't come as quickly. Where once my fingers flew over the keys, now they stumble, transposing letters and stop my flow. Of course, it doesn't really matter at the moment because I can't bring myself to talk about what I want to talk about. Some of it is just not my place. Not my battle, and yet it tugs at my heart so. Other things, I'm just not ready to say out loud or see them written. I feel it will make it all the more real, and I'm just not ready for that.

Feeling Fancy {and a giveaway}

Update! So, um it took a few extra days to get these results but here they are!

Number 2! Jeff McClure, you win! Send me an email {kelli at studiokgm dot com} with your information and I will get it to Michael at Molly Maid and get you set up and you won't have to clean your bathroom! Woo Hoo!


Can I tell you a long story? A long story that I promise is going somewhere? And you'll stick around to the end?
I hope so.
I met Michael Silva-Nash because he needed a cake. He had ordered one from somewhere else and wasn't happy with it. He was referred to me from Lisa Fisher- someone that follows me on twitter. (She also has a day job on the radio. I doubt she leads with 'I follow Kelli Marks on twitter.' Just a guess.) Anyway, Michael loved the cake and has since ordered several more from me. I think I've made a cake for every member of his family since October.
It just so happens that Michael's mom owns Molly Maid. When I opened the bakery, I did my my blogger open house and Michael saw that and thought it was cool. So he decided that he wanted to have a handful of bloggers write about what it's like to have Molly Maid clean their house. (obviously, I volunteered. I mean, come on, the house has been trashed since the 4,400 cookie incident late last year.)
So Monday two ladies came to my house. I walked through with them and basically showed them around. I didn't have anything in particular that I needed them to do, you know, just clean. I've never in my life had a house keeper or cleaner. Growing up, we barely cleaned ourselves, more less had someone come in and do it. (probably explains the condition of my house).
Once they assessed everything, they got to work. I asked Michael what the protocol was, because I had no idea what to expect. He said that they clean every house top to bottom, left to right. They start with any cobwebs on the ceiling, move to ceiling fans, tops of door frames, and furniture and work their way down. They start on the left side of the house and move across, working from room to room.
I was home for the entire FIVE hours it took for them to clean my house. According to Michael, the first clean is the toughest. Because of this, it will cost more. But they have to bring the house back up to standard, from there, it's just a matter of maintaining it.
I tried to stay out of the way, in the office for most of the time, but periodically I would go into the kitchen or move the dogs to other parts of the house (keeping them out of the way was a challenge. They want to bark at everything!) Things I personally saw them doing:

• Wiping down the dining room table and chairs (each one, front and back, top to bottom)
• Cleaning the cabinets in the kitchen
• Windows (including the window sills, sorry about all the dog hair)
• Cleaning all the mirrors in the dining room. (Um, there's like 25 of them)
• Wiped down all the doors (front and back)

Things I know they did because I checked or noticed after they left:

• Cleaned the tops of the door frames
• Vacuumed the couch, including under the cushions (which, I'm certain had to be gross)
• Vacuumed the pool table
• Mopped in the pantry. (Really? I don't think we've ever mopped in there)
• Cleaned the laundry room (Again, really? It's a room for cleaning, we don't clean it)
• They moved everything to dust. I know because everything is not quite where it belongs. 
• They took out all the trash. Also, I think they took it with them! Because I was on the back deck toward the end and never saw them come outside. I could be mistaken, but wow!

Things Michael told me that I thought were interesting:

• They test their products before using them in your home. 
• Currently, he said they're testing out a new glass cleaner that - get this- REPELS fingerprints on glass for several days. So basically it's like they're still cleaning even after they're gone. And, it's a totally green product. 
• They keep it old school. They don't cut corners, no swiffers or things like that. Just rags, soap and good old fashioned elbow grease. 
• When they do a cleaning, they do a good deep cleaning every time. Apparently some companies when hired on a weekly basis will trade off and do some parts one week and other parts the next week, Molly Maid doesn't do that. They clean everything, every time. 

Brad was skeptical, since he does all the cleaning. But to see him walk around and say things like, "Look at the shower door!" Or "They vacuumed in the closet!" I think he ultimately approved. He even asked "So how much is this, maybe we can have it done a couple times a year." Which, is what I was thinking. Right now, with the bakery, we just aren't home enough to mess the place up all that much. But, it's really nice to have someone come in and set you on the right path periodically. Whether it's seasonally or once a month.

I think Brad was most impressed with how clean the house smelled. Odd right? But it does have a nice, clean smell - not chemically, just clean. Which is a feat in itself with how much garlic I cook with. Overall it was a really awesome experience. But, I have to say, if you opt to have your house cleaned, I would recommend not being there. Yep. Let strangers in your house unattended. Here's my reasoning: 

I felt in the way. They were trying to work. Even though it's my house, I felt like the outcast. Also, THEY'RE TRYING TO WORK. I was definitely in the way. For all I know, they like to jam some tunes and rock out. Couldn't do that with me there. (I jam tunes at the bakery way too much. I'm afraid to ask my neighbors if they can hear it for fear of finding out they can.) Also, Michael told me how nice it is for him to come home and see that his mom has sent a team over to his house as a surprise. I mean, seeing the house now is great, but I know what the in between looked like, with the dust all over the floor and basically being aware of my own filth. I'd like to skip that and just go straight to the clean. So that's what I would recommend. But that's just me.
Brad and I are working to keep it clean, it looks so nice, I just hate to ruin all their hard work.
So what do you get for reading this long post? How about a chance to win a $100 gift certificate? Yep, that's right. The awesome people at Molly Maid are letting me give one of my readers a gift certificate! All I need you to do is leave me a comment telling me what cleaning chore you hate doing the most. On Friday, I will do a random drawing and announce the winner. Easy peasy.

Disclaimer: In order to win, you must live in the central Arkansas area. I received a free house cleaning in exchange for this post. But all the opinions are my own. 

Body by Bakery Volume 2

Apparently when I wrote my original post, I just thought I was buff. I was wrong. I mean, I guess I was buff, but now? Now I'm starting to see scary muscles that I didn't know my body had. I'm afraid that if this goes on, I'm going to start looking like Madonna. And while I commend her for having a rocking body at age fifty plus, it's not really a look that I'm going for.
Newest muscles added?

The internal oblique. For once I can say 'yay for swim suit season,' because I now have this much coveted muscle.
Speaking of swim suits, I put on the lovely outfit in the above photo to do some yard work yesterday. Upon coming home, Brad said "Really? This is what you're wearing. Way to bring down the neighborhood." To which I said, "What? It's hot and I wanted to get some sun." AND THEN HE SAID, "Crew socks? Couldn't you have put on some low ones?"
He was upset about my sock choice.
Socks.
My husband.
God Love him.

Another new muscle? I now have lower back dimples. First off, I remember seeing those for the first time on a cupie doll. (remember those?) And thinking, 'What the heck are those?' I'm guessing they (along with the internal obliques) come from leaning over a table (but not slouching and hurting my back) while decorating cookies. Say 700 cookies in the last two weeks? I'm sure that probably did it. Secondly, when looking up what to call those dimple things I found that people pierce them. PIERCE their backs. Randomly. Apparently it's a great way to spice up that long forgotten tramp stamp.
Ewe.
Now that I've finally got them, I will not be punching holes in them. Thankyouverymuch.


Anyway, the offer to come work in the bakery still stands, I can't promise that you will also get my awesomely pasty white skin, but it's a strong possibility. I have a post coming in a few days that hopefully you'll come back for. Why? It's a give away!

Body by Bakery

I've got a lot of friends who are currently working out. They're going to 'boot camps,' which, I'm not going to lie, sounds like utter torture. I've never been one to workout. I hate it. Running in place? No thanks. Running around a block? I don't care for that either. Just go ahead and mark me down for no running, m'kay?
I can't really stand weights either. And while I could probably benefit from some aerobic workout type stuff, I can't get over how ridiculous I probably look huffing and puffing as I dance around in place, looking nothing like the graceful, chiseled chick on the screen.
But I've managed to come up with a workout plan that works for me. I call it Body by Bakery. It's a crucial mix of exercise and diet regimen. The diet part comes in where you have absolutely no time to eat while you're here. You can have coffee for breakfast (make sure to reheat it 20 times in the microwave. Cold coffee is no bueno). And you can have anything for dinner once you get home- but you have to cook it yourself.
The workout part is a mix of cardio and weight training. There is no distance running, but occasionally you do have to sprint back to the oven to take out a batch of cupcakes.
Once a week, you will pick up six to seven 25 pound bags (sugar and flour) and put them on a buggy, push them around SAM's for a while then put them in your car. Take them out of your car and carry them inside. Throughout the week, move them around the bakery as needed. After only 8 weeks, your arms will look like this:

(yes, I took this picture in the bakery, by myself. I couldn't really ask a person to take a picture of me pumping my tiny fist. Ignore my bra strap and the ridiculous look on my face.) And while the bottom of my arm looks a bit flabby, I assure you that is solid muscle from rolling out fondant.

And jeans that were once tight, will look like this:

(which now frequently results in 'drooping pants syndrome' and sometimes, the dreaded 'showing off my underwear disorder'.)

I have lost about an inch off my waist and another off my hips.

If you find the workout to be mundane, try throwing in some additional arm and leg work, like walking around the bakery pushing a broom. My trainer [Brad] suggests I do this once or twice a day. Not going to lie, I don't do it frequently enough for his liking.

So there you have it, Body by Bakery. If you would like to sign up, I'm doing an introductory class for only $99. There is no equipment rental fees and it even comes with your own workout uniform. Space is limited, so sign up now! :)